Anxiety

Your Body Has an Alarm System

It’s called anxiety.

Just like the device in your car, home or that clock that wakes you up in the morning sometimes it cries wolf or misses a cue.

Many people know they’re “uncomfortable,” but thinking about being “anxious” seems too much, or they want to avoid the stigma of having a “problem” or being “crazy.”

Anxiety isn’t a dirty word. It’s just a description of a normal continuum of bodily responses designed to keep us safe. It can range from unease to worry to full-blown terror.

Anxiety Affects the Whole Person

In our bodies we may experience it as tension in the forehead, jaw, shoulders and lower back. That excess muscle tone is part of the autonomic nervous system designed to help us fight off an enemy, not exactly helpful when you’re at your desk or lying awake at night. It can be felt in the gut. Stomach issues like nausea, bloating and diarrhea are common given the amount of the mood regulating chemical serotonin.

It also creeps up more generally as a form of restlessness and unease. It also affects our mind in the form of thoughts and feelings. We might notice an uncertainty about our self, our environment or the future. If left untreated that worry can lead to hopelessness and leave us depressed.

I’ve dedicated my practice to understanding the whole-body reaction to anxiety and helping you beat it by waging a war on all fronts.

There is Hope for Anxiety

Talia was a 55-year-old divorced lawyer at a boutique corporate firm in the city.

She typically felt on edge and occasionally crossed into sheer terror.

In law school, she felt like her anxious emotions helped her study, but as her worry grew, she began to lose focus and second guess her decisions at work. Her firm was contracting and buyouts were on the table.

Talia found herself feeling restless. She had difficulty sleeping at night.

Her stomach tightened as she headed out in the morning, and her hands were always cold.

She had practiced for 25 years and assumed she was a good lawyer. Still, there was a doubt that maybe she was an imposter.

Talia’s Decision to Try Therapy for Her Anxiety

When she met with me, I showed her that she was holding a lot of tension in her shoulders and holding her breath. He explained the effect this had on her body and mind in contributing to anxiety.

Through therapy, she learned to relax her body and quiet her mind. She put in the work and tracked her anxious thoughts.

Thanks to our work together, Talia was delighted to have her edge back. She walked confidently with her head up and shoulders back as she entered the board room to discover whether she’d be continuing at her firm.

How Larry Overcame Debilitating Anxiety

Larry was 28, unemployed, living with his parents and had never had a girlfriend. He dropped out of college and quit his last job because he felt he couldn’t take the pressure.

He was plagued by a sense of doubt and failure.

“Was it too late?” he asked himself. “Have I ruined my life for good?”

In addition to his doubts, he felt tightness in his chest when he left the house. His palms began to sweat when he passed a woman his age on the street.

Larry found himself apologizing to everyone he interacted with, always focused on how he had inconvenienced or disappointed them.

The Remedy for Anxiety Usually Isn’t a Quick Fix

When Larry came to therapy, he was desperate to find a quick fix and be done with his anxiety for good. He felt if he just had a magic pill he would be able to gain the confidence he needed to face his demons.

After taking some time to get to know Larry, I found out that he had parents who were very judgmental about his struggles and were constantly criticizing his lack of progress and dependence on them. Larry learned to internalize these judgments and his inner voice was now working against him to keep him avoiding making the necessary changes in life.

During the first month of treatment, Larry learned to identify his inner critic and give himself credit for his efforts to make his life better.

He was given a physiological stress assessment that helped him see how his body reacted under stress.

Through biofeedback, he was able to learn to control his anxious response. He no longer reacted in fear to that tightening in his chest or the perspiration of his palms when he ventured out in public.

We also looked at how his brain was responding and found that his anxiety networks were running in overdrive. Through neurofeedback training and mindfulness exercises, Larry was able to quiet his mind and focus on regaining his life.

By month two, he was looking to restart his college studies and was able to enroll in some part-time classes online.

In month three, he had his first date. Although he was nervous, Larry was proud not to have left the dinner or cancelled prematurely. When he didn’t hear back from the woman, he was devastated and felt like he was doomed to fail. After looking objectively at his progress, however, he was heartened by his efforts and was convinced not to let his anxiety keep him from finding love and happiness.

Soon, he was back dating and was feeling more comfortable about himself.

Larry continued to attend weekly sessions and in month four he found a job though his old employer whom he had been convinced thought he was a loser.

I encouraged Larry to write a note explaining why he had left inviting him to lunch.

His boss accepted and he was surprised to find that the man he thought was so tough had also suffered from anxiety and doubts as a young man.

At month five, Larry and I decided that he would come every other week since he was more confident in his ability to work independently on his goals. After a year, Larry had been working and was a few months away from graduating with a degree in computer science. He had been getting more serious with his girlfriend, with whom he planning to take a trip to Europe for 10 days in the fall.

We decided it was time for Larry to take a break from therapy and enjoy the life he had worked so hard to live knowing that he had my support should he need it.

Understanding Your Challenges Mobilizes Your Strengths to Help Meet Them

Cognitive therapy helps correct faulty thinking patterns and helps you have a more realistic view of your life. Behaviorally, I help you ease into situations you avoid and fear to gain confidence and skill where you once felt helpless or terrified.

I also target the nervous system with biofeedback. Showing how your nerves may be over-reacting to various situations or thoughts and learning to control your breathing and muscle tension to promote self-regulation.

Finally, I map your brain to see where you’re wasting resources and help you channel your energies toward reaching your goals instead of avoiding them.

Anxiety is Not a Personal Weakness

It’s a faulty alarm system.

But knowledge alone won’t help you overcome it. You have to ask for help and put in the work. Don’t let Larry and Talia be the only ones to feel better.

Don’t you deserve it too?

Call, text, or email today for a free phone consult, and we’ll let you know how a stress assessment can help you beat anxiety one breath at a time.